Couples & Relationship Counselling in Surrey & Across BC
Relationship counselling at Soothing Souls provides an empathetic, structured sanctuary for couples navigating communication breakdown, repetitive conflict loops, trust ruptures, and emotional distance. Drawing from Emotion-Focused approaches and attachment principles in extended 75-minute virtual sessions, we help partners understand their underlying vulnerabilities and build lasting connection.
Is This Support Right for You?
You might resonate with this counselling focus if you are navigating:
- Feeling stuck in the same exhausting arguments where conversations escalate quickly into criticism or cold silence
- One partner feels unheard and pursues with urgency, while the other feels overwhelmed and shuts down or leaves
- Recovering emotional safety and rebuilding connection following a breach of trust or emotional withdrawal
- Navigating cross-cultural relationship differences, extended family obligations, or in-law expectations
- Major life transitions such as adjusting to parenthood, career stress, or relocations that strain intimacy
- Desiring deeper emotional attunement, friendship, and vulnerability before misunderstandings compound
Screening for domestic safety is a standard part of our initial intake. If you or someone you know is in an unsafe relationship, please reach out directly to VictimLinkBC at 1-800-563-0808 (toll-free, confidential, 24/7 across BC) for crisis support and transition planning.
The Anatomy of the Pursue-Withdraw Cycle
Most couples who seek counselling do not lack love for one another; rather, they become trapped in a repetitive conflict cycle known in Emotion-Focused Therapy as the pursue-withdraw dynamic.
In moments of relational disconnect or perceived rejection:
- The Pursuer: Feels isolated or anxious about disconnection. They protest this emotional gap through urgency, frustration, raised voices, or criticism in an attempt to re-establish connection.
- The Withdrawer: Experiences the partner's frustration as intense criticism or emotional flooding. To protect the relationship and prevent further escalation, they shut down, become silent, or physically withdraw.
- The Infinite Loop: The more one partner withdraws, the more anxious and critical the other partner becomes — and the more critical the pursuer becomes, the further the withdrawer retreats.
In our 75-minute sessions, neither partner is framed as the villain. We externalize the conflict cycle itself as the common enemy, helping you both step off the treadmill of blame and speak from authentic, vulnerable attachment needs.
What to Expect in Virtual Couples Sessions
Virtual couples therapy takes place over a secure telehealth link. Both partners can join together from the same living room or from separate locations if work schedules require. Sessions are 75 minutes in length, structured to ensure balanced time for each partner to reflect, regulate, and practice new relational dialogues with Rimsha's gentle guidance.
Fees, Extended Health & Direct Billing
Clinical sessions are $190. Most British Columbia extended health insurance plans cover sessions with a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC).
We provide direct billing for participating extended health plans via TELUS eClaims and Provider Connect (e.g. Pacific Blue Cross, Sun Life, Canada Life, Manulife), as well as direct billing for eligible ICBC Enhanced Care claims. Official receipts containing Rimsha Qureshi's BCACC registration (#29320) are issued immediately following every session for seamless submission.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do you use 75-minute sessions for couples therapy?
Standard 50-minute sessions often feel rushed when two partners need equal time to speak, decompress, and process complex relational dynamics. The extended 75-minute format provides the necessary breathing room to explore tender issues thoroughly, de-escalate emotional reactivity, and reach meaningful resolution before ending the call.
What therapeutic approach do you use for couples?
Our work is grounded in Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) approaches and attachment theory. Rather than acting as a referee or assigning blame, Rimsha helps you identify the negative interactive dance that captures you both, understand the unmet attachment needs underneath, and learn to communicate with vulnerability rather than defensiveness.
What if my partner is hesitant or reluctant to attend counselling?
Reluctance is very common. Often, a hesitant partner worries that therapy will be a blaming session where they are criticized. Our initial consultation is collaborative and non-judgmental. If your partner is not yet ready, we also offer individual relationship counselling to help you clarify your own boundaries, communication patterns, and relational goals.
Do you work with intercultural or South Asian couples?
Yes. Rimsha Qureshi has extensive experience working with South Asian, immigrant, and multicultural couples across British Columbia. We understand the nuanced pressures of filial piety, joint family expectations, and cultural identity, offering fluent care in English, Urdu, and Hindi.
Is couples counselling covered by extended health insurance in BC?
Many British Columbia extended health benefit plans provide coverage for Registered Clinical Counsellors (RCC). However, insurance policies vary regarding couples therapy billing codes. Receipts containing Rimsha's BCACC registration details are issued immediately for each session so you can submit for reimbursement.
Related Clinical Services
Individual experiences with counselling vary and outcomes cannot be guaranteed.